Mary Ann Hogan and Eric Newton in 1979

10 things I did after my wife died

.

bought a crate of popcorn by mistake

— ate it, watching every Star Trek episode

left my car on a street in Berkeley for

three hours, unlocked, keys inside, idling

said yes to all the therapy books —

now they guard my bed, longing to be touched

tried to hold hands with people who do not hold hands

tried alcohol

forgot most of what everyone said to me

was afraid i could not write without her

was afraid i could